Thinking about acting today...
Question: Why do you act?
Not my favourite question.
I often try to avoid the core truth, it's embarrassing, it's painful. I often say: 'When I was 7 Three Sisters from Chekhov totally mesmerised me and I decided to go acting. But, that is only partially true.
Ful truth is: mom had hormonal imbalances and bad mood swings, anything could trigger her outrage, dad had anger management problems.
The days I didn't act, payed utmost attention, if I wasn't 'present' and in, what Patsy Rodenburg calls, second circle... well, I was punished.
So I learned fast, I learned early, so early that still in my 38th I am trying to figure what my non acting me is like. I acted through school, I acted through jobs, I acted through relationships.
Rare and precious were people I didn't have to act around, those gorgeous souls got the real me: messy, crying, lost, relaxed and socially awkward. The rest of life was just about 'learning script', listening, improvising, choosing best line for each situation...
Climbing on stage was simple, in kindergarten already, teachers, drama teachers just noticed what was already there and gave me helpful improvement.
Acting is my most intimate, primal, protective and loving ambient where I feel like home. And I don't need cameras, I don't need audience, I am happy to have them but I can and am acting anyway. That is who I am and that is why - acting.
I am still socially very awkward, but hey, if I blab something totally inappropriate to you, or do something weird, that just means your vibe makes me safe and I am me around you.
There, it's out :-)
And you? What is your deepest truth, what is your deepest passion? What is true you?
Share and comment, let's dig in in our truths :-)
Weirdly yours,
​Vanja
Question: Why do you act?
Not my favourite question.
I often try to avoid the core truth, it's embarrassing, it's painful. I often say: 'When I was 7 Three Sisters from Chekhov totally mesmerised me and I decided to go acting. But, that is only partially true.
Ful truth is: mom had hormonal imbalances and bad mood swings, anything could trigger her outrage, dad had anger management problems.
The days I didn't act, payed utmost attention, if I wasn't 'present' and in, what Patsy Rodenburg calls, second circle... well, I was punished.
So I learned fast, I learned early, so early that still in my 38th I am trying to figure what my non acting me is like. I acted through school, I acted through jobs, I acted through relationships.
Rare and precious were people I didn't have to act around, those gorgeous souls got the real me: messy, crying, lost, relaxed and socially awkward. The rest of life was just about 'learning script', listening, improvising, choosing best line for each situation...
Climbing on stage was simple, in kindergarten already, teachers, drama teachers just noticed what was already there and gave me helpful improvement.
Acting is my most intimate, primal, protective and loving ambient where I feel like home. And I don't need cameras, I don't need audience, I am happy to have them but I can and am acting anyway. That is who I am and that is why - acting.
I am still socially very awkward, but hey, if I blab something totally inappropriate to you, or do something weird, that just means your vibe makes me safe and I am me around you.
There, it's out :-)
And you? What is your deepest truth, what is your deepest passion? What is true you?
Share and comment, let's dig in in our truths :-)
Weirdly yours,
​Vanja